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Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

Time:4:48 pm.
my time is short but ive been doing alright.

i spent this past weekend with thom and carol out in san diego. its a lovely place. the thing that is both bitter-sweet about san diego is that it seems like its-its own state... seperated from LA-OC-IE yet thats what makes it unique... i hope to spend more time with them. as of right now im hanging out with irene tonight.. going to check out this club in riverside... lets hope the posuer factor is at a low, probably not.

i must go now, need to start reading some Sarte.

[im off]
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Tuesday, April 11th, 2006

Subject:been a long time...
Time:7:36 pm.
Mood: content.
i've recently found this...

forgot i even had it but cant believe that it still works...
i dont know... what to say.. alot has changed... i have changed...
i find myself at singularity... [lostlove]... but i guess im doing alright...
thanks to daniéle for starting up the fire for this...
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Monday, June 23rd, 2003

Subject:still breathing
Time:10:31 pm.
im still here, im still here.

im talking to my new friend right now, she's nice! well ummm dj thing going good. job going shitty.

alright then, have nothing more to say.

shout out to aimee...

[im off_]
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Friday, May 23rd, 2003

Subject:dance, dance, dance!! well drink too!
Time:2:27 am.
for all you kids bored on sunday nights in the inland empire:


i spin there... okay end of poor excuse for promotion, oh yeah!

[im off_]
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Subject:searching for a place to call my own
Time:2:01 am.
Mood: sleepy.
i've been online all night looking for places in the Silverlake/Hollywood area... if anyone has any suggestions where i should look to find places in these areas besides LA WEEKLY please let me know. i can't wait to get out of the town i live in. in other news, i hate the inland empire... i need out.

went to dana point the other day and saw my darling ms. lee we hung out and it was rather cold over there... i had a great time. we're meeting up again this saturday. yes, i dig her... really dig her. she makes me happy and i miss her when shes not around.

alright, must go. i have a big weekend ahead of me. i'll tell you about it sometime oh and for the being pissed off at a customer, lets just say he left a cow tongue for an employee that he hates on the counter.. fucking ass, i want to kill him, not really... killing is wrong. lets just say, i want to hurt him but that was then, im over it now. i thought it was funny for how pathetic it was... oh well, eyes are getting heavy... must go now.

[im off_]
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Monday, May 19th, 2003

Time:11:25 am.
Mood: content.
[if you hold me tonight
then i'll thank you for
the time that we have spent

if you say that this is right
then i'll touch your lips
with mine and hold you even longer...]

sometimes it's good to think how songs that you wrote years
ago can still be good for reminiscing. spun last night at [disposable pop] spun for over an hour, hard thing was cuing up vinyl with no headphones... just looking at the grooves but i was still able to pull it off. had a good weekend, saw the rapture with the moving units on friday, then rushed off to [peppermint lounge] to spin and got drunk but good drunk... thanks irene and chanel for showing up, it was a blast.

saw miss lee on friday night as well and on saturday... it feels good to hold her, it makes my smile. i miss her, i think im in deep smitt and last night just worked before spinning. good weekend, im happy. hope your weekend was good as well.

[im off_]
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, May 16th, 2003

Time:1:09 pm.
Mood: pissed off.
we got DSL at work... oh yeah!! anyways some asshole just came in which i'll explain later and so i want to jump him... more explanation soon. but other than that im doing fine..

this was pointless... completely pointless

[im off_]
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Wednesday, April 30th, 2003

Subject:i'll spin you right 'round...
Time:12:07 pm.
first time out, you get kind of nervous. you wonder what people are going to say to their friends, "you can't dance to this song!" and/or "what the hell is he playing?!" then you start out with something good but you haven't got the hang of it yet so you wonder why you can't hear the song you cued up playing out through the PA... dead air. then it's sorted out, "oh, the fader was on channel two." and so from there everything's alright. having a drink while you watch people dance to what you're spinning is a trip and can serve up a laugh or two, definitely a smile shines across your face. and for the next half hour you control what people are moving to.

second time out you notice that no one is dancing to the soul music that the person before you is spinning. you think, "this isn't going to be good." but you still give it a go and when the first song of your set is Bowie's "Rebel, Rebel" you look up and notice that the floor is packed with bodies shaking and moving... another laugh, another smile. the next 45 minutes people are on the floor. strangers that you've never seen before come up to you and say that you're their new favourite dj because you've just spun "The Cutter" or "There's No Other Way" some give you weird looks when you have them dance to "Emerge" some who are good friends make jokes and say that every song your played "Sucked!" but no matter what, people are dancing and you even though you're a bit drunk when you're making them do so, you can't help but love it...

[im off_]
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Friday, April 11th, 2003

Subject:strepthroat dreamland
Time:9:49 pm.
Mood: sick.
you say to yourself that it will be over soon, a certain chuckle followed by a facial expression that reads: pain...

you've spent your whole day in bed, with a few episodes of harsh fever preceded by chills. the sweat around your neck is making you feel uncomfortable and your body temperature is making you feel as if it were a hot summer day. you sleep and wake up through out that day, and you realize how you wish you felt 110 percent because this night is your debut night of spinning at a club and you think you can make it and you want to disregard the fact that you're a mess in the sense of both hygiene and health. you also wish that you could've spent the day with that one girl and that when you talked with her about how you're ill, you didn't sound as if you were deaf because of the inflammation of your tonsils...

all in all you hope that in your case, it will last the better of 3 days. if so, then you have one more day of this nonsense... and now it is time to pass out once more.

[im off_]
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Tuesday, February 18th, 2003

Subject:and on and on...
Time:11:05 pm.
so far i've been away from my computer... caught in the dense cycle of my weekday[plural]: wake up in the morning, go to work, come home, read/listen to music/watch a film/talk to someone/watch the telly, go to bed somewhat early to i can wake up the next morning. thursday nights are different because on friday[plural] i close the record shoppe, so i don't have to be in until 4pm. those nights, i want to go out, do some drinking, see some friends, have some fun but i usually end up repeating sunday night through wednesday night. friday nights however i go to jays club and end up getting drunk, i have fun. and repeat through saturday night. i enjoy being back at the record shoppe though, i dont miss wherehouse, im glad that place is going down. it's funny because i never go out to god awful redlands anymore and i dont miss it except a few people[i.e. janelle and the placebo crew, jesse, benannums...and many more].

but im doing good, in a little rut but its okay, i need to get some shit sorted but yeah im doing fine... and for those who replied to my post.. thank you.. you know who you are... alright then

[im off_]
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Friday, January 24th, 2003

Subject:at a stand still
Time:1:40 am.
well i guess im doing alright... i fell a bit as though i moving slowly once again. but hey! so far no drama or the wanting of jumping off a bridge, so thats a good news right? but yeah no need to go into heavy details just updating for those who are holding their breath in suspence and wondering when i was going to finally have recent words placed in this space of lovely drivel.. this is for you... if any of you are out there.

[im off_]
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Friday, January 3rd, 2003

Subject:The Real You
Time:12:23 am.
and there i was so tired of everything.
you came to me right out of the dark.
told me words that made me trust again
and filled my life up with the hope that you burnt down.
so there's the real you
just wanted to let you know that it feels
so very cold
when your knives are in me.
you told me that you never wanted to be alone
and that the feeling was mutual.
the look in your eyes put me in a trance
and then the rain began to fall in my heart.
so there's the real you.
just wanted to let you know that it feels
so very cold
when your knives-are in my heart now
they're in my soul.
i hope that in the end,
he does the same to you-just like you did...

i'll wait for long:
you don't know it-you don't know it
a way too long:
your heart grows cold-your heart grows old
you gave your love:
don't give anymore-not anymore
because in the end:
it's only you-it's only just you.

[copyright the lakeside drive_2002]
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Thursday, January 2nd, 2003

Subject:happy new year
Time:11:55 pm.
im sure most of you will say that your events of ringing in the new year was wonderful... im sure some of you will say that it was just alright and out of the few parties that you attended, a couple were fantastic. the ball drops and you're there with the friends who you care deeply for and all is well because you're altogether. some of you will say that you don't really remember it for the alcohol ran through you. and some will say that they did not drink and or do drugs because they had either to be at work the next day or just plainly did not want to. but in all, the feeling if not being happy was content and somewhat joyous.

as for me, the holiday blues hit hard [especially during the new year] i get to sit and think about mainly all the bad things that have happened during the recent year. this year, no one called me... i ended up staying home watching a couple of movies by myself. the thought process was at work. i wondered if my friends were having a better time than i was and i knew they were. i wondered why they didn't call me. no one did, not even to at least wish me a good new year. then again, i knew of a party but didn't want to go because i wanted to spend time with closer friends... i watched on the telly while the "ball" dropped and suddenly it just hit me: why the fuck do people make such a big deal out of the new year? whats the fucking point? and better yet, it was probably good that i stayed in feeling like shit because if i had gone out, worse probably could've happened... in the end, i hated this years ending but i was happy in my mind because my show went rather well, playing in front of people released alot of pressure for me and im glad that i did it... more will be coming soon..
so for all those who think it matters: happy new year...

yours was probably better than mine.

[im off_]
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Thursday, December 26th, 2002

Subject:Happy Christmas
Time:11:30 am.
i hope everyone had somewhat of a lovely holiday... best to all.

i shall go into more detail later of my own which isn't much.

[im off_]
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Thursday, December 19th, 2002

Time:11:45 am.
to my previous post, i know that there are a lot of you out there who'll agree with me about my venting subject. but i hope not to offended anyone.

with that, if you do get offened:

oh well...

[im off_]
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Wednesday, December 18th, 2002

Subject:we are headed for an isola...
Time:11:50 pm.
this christmas retail deal is making me tired.. but im used to it so it's alright. i just look forward to the check when it's time to get paid. i geeked out today, saw the two towers by myself at the first showing in the morning. people always ask me how i can go to movies and to shows by myself. i tell them that i'm fine with it, i dont care what others think, im old school indie i guess... lot of kids these days miss the point. scenesters right? yeah a lot of them want to dress hip so others can notice them and say "wow, them cats is cool!" and they try to get into bands so they can just say "hey, i dig pink and brown, im so cool!" [pink and brown was the only band i could think of right now..] it's sad. it should be about the music... the love for the music not to say that you're better than someone because you don't dig the carpenters. who cares what others think just as long as you're comfortable... that's indie to me and it has been for many years. i don't know, it just gets on my nerves sometimes.

i feel bad though for i won't be getting anyone anything for christmas, well those who will get something will get it after the holiday because we dont get paid this week... and first off i have to get my family their gifts first. im getting my parents a dvd player because once i leave, i want them to have something to view their movies on. there will be a select few who will get something other than that, i have other things to take care of.. like major bills and what not.. but don't worry jim, you'll get your vanilla coke... alright, im gonna watch my favourite christmas movie... edward scissor hands.

[im off_]
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Sunday, December 15th, 2002

Subject:we drove alot
Time:1:36 pm.
Mood: calm.
got into a car last night and drove to dana point: three of us. the driver went a long way and didn't heed my advice to get on the 55 south and not stay on the 91 west. we drove through anahiem, arcadia, long beach, and hopped on the 405. through long beach, through santa ana, costa mesa, irvine, laguna, and finally dana point. it took a long while to get there because of yes, that detour. talked with the person we were going to meet and she sounded lovely. gave me directions though our cell phones: technology.

we arrived at our destination and after sitting in the back seat, telling the two of my friends that we were headed the right way and that we weren't going in circles, i needed to stand up. we met up in a rather nice hotel. got lost with one friend who wanted to take the stairs: claustrophobia. she and her friend were in the back balcony. after looking for my lost friend i headed out there to at least meet the two who we were there to meet, found our lost friend. so headed back to get my searching companion. we headed towards the back, everyone was dressed nicely, we all met up. she was darling and charming. she matched her voice. my friend who was "lost" was meeting her for the first time. i bought myself a drink and him a beer: 15 dollars, i wasn't surprised. we talked for what probably had to be all of 20 to 30 mins, she had to leave. she got up and said her goodbyes, gave me her hand and told me that it was nice meeting me. i took her hand, squeezed softly, "pleasure" i replied. she left with her friend who was from moreno valley. my drink was done, my friend still needed to finish his beer. after standing for the whole duration of our meeting, i took the seat that she was sitting and and lit a cigarette, all three of us sat down and talked... she called me and wanted to talk to my friend. i gave him my phone and he walked off for what i think was about 20 mins. the place was really nice and the balcony overlooked the ocean i made plans with my friend the driver and we thought of where to go next... it was after eleven-thirty at night. my friend on the phone left his half drunk beer, i started drinking it myself. he finally got off the phone and we left the hotel.

we took the PCH-one to fullerton. from dana point, laguna beach, balboa island, newport beach, huntington beach, santa ana, orange, anahiem and into fullerton. at the hotel, a couple of our friends were at a coffee shoppe in fullerton and wanted to know when we were arriving, i told them to just take off because we were a long way. we decided to see if they were still there: it was now one-thirty in the morning. no luck, the place was rather empty and it was closing. off to a 24 hour diner, we went back to anahiem. sitting at the booth, i talked with my friend and asked him how he thought it all went.. with meeting her. he told me that on the phone she stated that she was really nervous. i asked him if she gave him a kiss when she hugged him, no. he told me that she thought i was really "cool" and "funny" and that she would like to go to a show with me, lovely! but she liked my friend and he told me that the meeting was a little odd. we ate our food and talked a little, i took the front seat this time and all three of us were off back home. i tried to stay awake but the pill i took earlier was taking in effect, i felt nice.

from anahiem, through riverside and beyond we finally made our way to the town where my backseat-sleep friend is from and where i had parked my truck... not my town, i live 20 mins west of there... i woke up at the off-ramp and prepared myself for my own departure back home. got my stuff, threw them in my truck, my friend woke up and my driving friend said that she would take him home, no bother. i drove back and walked in my house at four-thirty in the morning. she was on my mind and i could see how someone could easily fall for her. i was really tired. it was a really good night, i had a blast because i got out of the area and went through many cities, met someone new. i enjoyed it immensely. i look forward to my next adventure.
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Saturday, December 14th, 2002

Subject:that's it
Time:1:01 pm.
alright then... i've been thinking about it... and since the offer was given to me, i'm gonna move to the city, god i'm sick of this fucking town and it would do me good as well and i know that it might be a tough on the money situation but i have to do it... i need out.

[im off_]
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Subject:when nothing moves..
Time:12:44 pm.
i don't know why i act like i do sometimes around certain people... someone asked me if i hated them and i guess i secretly do because that person fucked me over and whenever we're together i'm a bit angered and think "you turned out to be just like the rest, after you said you wouldn't. i should've never trusted you."
yeah, i guess im still bitter but i felt bad when someone got into her car last night and took all of her cds.. i wouldn't do so good if that happend to me. it was good hanging out with jim as well.. i really dig it when he's around because he's such a fucking riot. practice was good, very good. everything's is coming together and we're working on the way the set is going to be played out and jesse loves the new song he learned which i must admit sounds great with everything together, it's moody... dark... loud... i love finally having a band again. but who knows if they will stick with it, let's hope because the only thing i have right now is my music, it's keeping me sane at the moment.

[im off_]
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Thursday, December 12th, 2002

Subject:For The Socal Indie & Shoegaze Cats...
Time:11:09 pm.
if all else fails on the 28th..

[December 28th | 9pm | $7]

The Lakeside Drive [ex-members of Awkward]

The Bentleys
The Classics
Justin Riner Project [of Pop Band Alice]

@ the Califonia Institute of Abnormalarts
11334 Burbank BLVD.
N. Hollywood | CA | 818.506.6353


this should be a good show. if you have nothing better to do then come on down.
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